Have You Been Thinking of “Body Love” All Wrong?

body love - black and white image of female in a library with head resting on chin and a slight smile on her face

I remember the first time I looked in the mirror and notice cellulite on my thighs. And I hated it. At that moment, I decided I needed to go on a diet, lose weight and make it go away. I was 15 and really wanted to have a body that I loved and that others would love too. So I made the decision that the cellulite had to go.

This unfavorable thoughts about my body’s shape and size dictated how I lived my life for the next 10 years.

Sadly, this is totally common.

We are constantly told by the outside world that our body has to look a certain way to be “healthy” and worthy of love. It seems like every time I enter into the grocery store I see tabloid magazines making fun of celebrities for having cellulite or a headline reading “who has the best and worst summer body,” etc.

In our society, it’s very hard to truly achieve body love. Seeing as most of us don’t look like Victoria Secret models, but are told that we should try to anyway.

So I get it. Body love is difficult.

See, most of us wake up each day, take a look in the mirror, and then decide how we are going to live our lives.

We regularly react to the way we look with the idea of elaborate diet plans and vows to never miss another workout.

We decide our self-worth, if we are allowed to be confident, and if we’re worthy of the label “beautiful” by what we see in the mirror and how we interpret it.

Living in this “reaction mode” to our body shape leaves most of us pretty miserable.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to learn to love your body to start living the life you want.

Body Love vs. Body Acceptance

All you have to do is learn to accept your body. Which I find is much easier for most of my clients than body love.

Accepting your body the way it is today is just like accepting the sky is blue and the earth is round – it’s a matter of fact.

It doesn’t really matter if you like the color blue or want the earth to be flat. The sky is blue and the earth is round. Period. We can choose to be angry and upset that we don’t like it, or we can go about living our lives how we want regardless of our opinion of the color and shape.

This is why body acceptance is so powerful.

We become neutral to our bodies. So, we shift from living in reaction mode to living in creation mode. We no longer have to let our opinion of our body dictate how we are going to feel and live each day.

Rather, we see our body’s shape and size, accept it- and then choose how we want to live our lives. Just like we all accept the color of the sky and the shape of the earth.

Reaction —–> creation

Shifting from living in reaction mode to creation mode is a much more empowering and freeing context to operate from.

I still have cellulite and stretch marks. My reaction to this is neutral. It just is the way my body looks. Period. It’s not good or bad, right or wrong. Rather it’s just matter of fact.

I used to react to my body in a very negative way, always feeling unsatisfied with how it looked. My disapproval of my body dictated so many areas of my life.

I can keep living in reaction to my body if I want to-  but it’s really painful.

So now I am neutral to it. Now, I can create my life from that place of acceptance.

I choose to be happy, confident, self-expressed, loving and joyful, regardless of my cellulite and stretch marks.

We all get to choose how we want to live with the body we have today. We can live in a constant state of reaction- or operate from a place of creation.

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