Words flow without hesitation, as the heart does with emotion.
Not being in control is what I aim for –
And the very thing I despise.
In that– there is freedom, yet in that requires unwavering vulnerability.
I’ve tasted it many times before but never indulged.
I finally reach a place of understanding and serenity, beyond my comprehension, resulting from a divine revelation.
The past always finds a way back, flooding my mind with disruption and chaos.
No matter how authentic the moment is, I’m reminded it’s only a mirage.
Drowned out by the possibility of eternal happiness, the truth is hidden beneath the surface.
Denying reality, I’ve set myself up for catastrophe.
Hope has become my worst enemy.
I’d rather have truth over fallacy and disappointment over ignorance.
No matter the consequences I persevere with nostalgia beyond the finish line.
Realizing that change is the only constant. I desperately seek a foundation of unconditional peace, love, and happiness.
However, it always finds a way to escape me.
As I travel to that familiar place, I remain skeptical of the authenticity of the things I value the most.
And back to the drawing board, I’m forced to rewrite my story.
This time, I embrace the destruction – because victory is far greater than the hardships ahead.
I am no longer bound to relying on my own understandings to dictate the outcome.
Rather, leaning on faith in the truth to reveal my next move, peace is abundant and the love is unconditional.
The solution is possible but at a seemingly impossible wager – dying to self and the reality I’ve created, is the only way out.
