Should You Keep Your Eating Disorder A Secret?

eating disorder secret - image of the back of a man standing facing a wall covered in graffiti art; at the top are a set of large eyes; the art is in blues, yellow, brown, black, and some red

For nearly a decade, I kept my eating disorder a secret. There were times when many people had their suspicions that something may be wrong, but I existed in a world of denial.

I lived in a world of lies and deceit.

“I’m fine.”

“Thanks, but I already ate.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Sorry, I can’t afford to go out tonight.”

I avoided the people and places I loved in order to keep my eating disorder secret.

A few months ago, I decided I was ready for real recovery.  I started a PHP, or partial hospitalization program. I spent 11 hours a day in treatment.

How was I supposed to tell my family, friends, and colleagues where I was without them worrying? The lies were increasingly more difficult to come up with.

So I started telling the truth.

If I am perfectly honest, some people had harsh reactions. Some said things that were unhelpful. But overall, the responses were incredibly supportive.

“Thanks for telling me.”

“How can I help you.”

“I’ve had a similar experience if you want to talk about it.”

Now that I have broken away from secrecy, true healing has begun. My friends and family can now support me. I have accountability. I have hope for my recovery.

My challenge to you is to stop living a life of secrecy, but one filled with truth. Then watch as the chains of your eating disorder slowly begin to break. ✨

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