I am so proud of you. I know that you feel anything but strong and brave right now. But you are both of those things.
I’ve been where you are – knowing that my eating disorder had taken my life and wanting something different, but also being petrified of change.
Yet, despite all the risk, you have chosen recovery. You have chosen life. You have chosen to get help, and you have chosen to fight for your life. And you should be so proud of yourself. But, if you can’t be proud of yourself right now, I will be proud of you until you can see just how incredible you are.
Even if you can’t see it now, I promise that you are so worthy of recovery.
No matter how long you have struggled with your eating disorder or how many times you have tried to get help, you are worth recovery. You are worth every dollar and every sacrifice and every appointment.
There is absolutely no one who could ever take your place.
Please don’t believe the lie that your eating disorder tells you about not being sick enough. I promise that you are. Your eating disorder has already stolen too much life from you.
You can’t do this on your own, and I know that’s frustrating for you. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or dumb or a burden, even if you’ve gotten help before. Eating disorders are terrible illnesses that can’t be fought alone.
Let your treatment team in and let those who love you in.
Allow them fight with you and fight for you on the days when you can’t. Let them celebrate with you through every little victory and every huge victory. Recovery can feel so very lonely at times, but it’s not like your eating disorder – it’s not isolating you. Letting people in on the process makes it feel so much less lonely.
Finally, no matter how many times you’ve tried recovery before, never stop believing that recovery is possible and that recovery is worth it.
It’s going to be worth every hard meal and hard appointment and hard night. Recovery is so possible for you, my friend, and don’t forget it. It’s called “recovery” for a reason- you are going to recover so much more than you can ever imagine
I believe in you, beautiful girl!
Your fellow warrior (and cheerleader)