As I turned the page of my calendar from December over to January, a breath of relief escape my lips. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. Staring at a blank month in a brand new year, I was filled with the excitement of “starting over.” A new beginning. An entire NEW year to write my own destiny. New Year’s Day.
Pressures of New Year’s Day
Someone once told me “how you spend New Year’s Day is how you will spend the entire year.” This is a promising statement. Every year as I woke up on January 1st, initially I felt the excitement. But it is a very heavy statement as well.
Each year, on the first of January, I found myself overanalyzing how to plan my day while frantically trying to cram in all of the things I wanted to spend the next year doing.
Every January 1st, in an attempt to create a perfect year, I attempted to create a perfect day. Every year I failed. Because perfect is not real.
This past year I have done extensive work, ridden the waves of life’s ups and downs, and grown from many tears and trials. Through Map My Recovery and The School of Recovery, I learned life-changing tools that equipped me to handle the unknown future.
I feel more connected, more present, and wiser than ever before.
Fighting for my recovery has led to freedom from the eating disorder that kept me in a rigid prison for more than half of my life.
I am finally breaking free. And yet, on New Year’s Day this year, I noticed the familiar feeling of panic as I watched the clock ticked forward.
Using the lessons I have learned
That is until I placed my hand on my heart and took a deep breath. And then I reminded myself:
You are OK. It is OK. There is no such thing as perfect.
A new tool
Self-compassion– the tool that has taught me to reconnect to myself, has been one of the most life-changing skills I have learned from the founder of True Warrior– Jessica Flint. At first, it may have seemed simple to me, and I admit a little “out there.” But I am so grateful I gave it a try and practiced it throughout the school. Because it has made all of the difference in my recovery.
And then I laughed at myself because, despite all of the self-help books I have read, online courses I have taken, and journal entries I have written, my natural instinct is to get caught up in the “New Year New You” frenzy. I was trying to create a perfect day to create a perfect year.
Setting new goals this New Year’s
And I remembered why I LOVED another component from Map My Recovery- setting goals in tune with the moon cycles. Life is not about 365 days in a year that all depend upon the very first day.
Our lives are cyclical with new chances for new beginnings happening all around us.
Every single day is a NEW day. Every single hour is a NEW hour. And every single moment is a NEW moment.
When I meet myself at the moment, wherever I am, with self-compassion- THAT is where real growth and new beginnings start.
And that is where the freedom, creativity, and joy takes off.
Thankfully, after these reminders, I stopped trying to cram writing into my January first. Instead, I went to play with my children. After that, I took a nap. And when I woke up, I realized that
I will take another year filled with self-compassion over a “perfect” year any day.