My inner critic can be loud, but it’s only critical of myself.
If you’re like me, you couldn’t even fathom the thought of calling another person things like — stupid, hopeless, ugly, failure, or fat. When I think of what it would be like for any of those words to leave my lips and land on another human an intense, uncomfortable feeling settles over me. I almost feel ashamed now just imagining it.
With this being the case, I reflect on the things I say to myself in the privacy of my own mind. The descriptors I used above are things that float through my mind on an almost daily basis. But to be transparently honest, those are a more gentle set of words than what appears a lot of the time when my inner critic speaks up.
This inner critic of mine is unforgiving and harsh. It doesn’t give a sh*t about whether or not it hurts me. This inner critic of mine is relentless.
Is our inner critic helping?
We all have this piece within us and being aware of this makes my heart break. In my eyes, the people who surround me are incredibly beautiful and amazing. The conversation in their heads, however, may prove that they feel none of the things I see.
It has taken me many many years to make progress on the quest for self-acceptance. However, even with my growth in this area, my inner critic still has the power to tear me apart. Some days it feels as if I’m on a battlefield holding my white flag, too tired to continually fight this wicked part of myself.
The anger I feel for this constant defeat within me is immense. Why do we talk to ourselves like this? Why are we incapable of seeing what others see in us?
When do we decide enough is enough?
Each day we make it through shows strength. Every time we stand up again after breaking down is a victory. We need to believe we are amazing. Life is not some kind of fairy tale. Life is hard. Why are we not giving ourselves credit and showing ourselves compassion for keeping on this journey during all of those crazy, challenging times?
Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer to that question. But even without an answer I still know a shift in our systems is absolutely necessary. So, next time you hear that inner critic spout nonsense at you, get your armor ready.
We don’t need to pretend the thought never happened. What we do need to do is stand up for ourselves.
“I heard you say those jeans make my legs look really big and disgusting. I don’t really agree with you, I think my body looks great in them, I’m going to wear them.”
Maybe once we are able to stand up to this bully inside of us, their presence will begin to diminish.
You are not alone
This fight is not one that needs to be fought internally or in silence. Talk to someone, write about it, paint about it, do something positive to LET IT OUT.
The most important relationship we have in this life is the one we have with ourselves. The amount of peace and serenity that comes from keeping your mind clear of negativity is immeasurable. It is worth the fight. Be kind to yourself. Show patience and compassion. We are so worthy of love and happiness, time we start treating ourselves that way.