But just hear me out on this…
I have realized that inspiration can often come from funny places. The things that motivate you to power through recovery can appear out of nowhere. It may be a song, a quote, something a friend says in passing, an article…. you name it.
It may even be a movie.
Mamma Mia 2 was one of these beacons for me. It has given me hope and a reason for recovery.
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Why? There are 3 reasons:
1. It reminds me of the girl I once was
I was the girl who danced in front of the TV singing her heart out to the original Mamma Mia 10 years ago.
The girl who truly felt she was the Dancing Queen and who longed for the day when she would be 17 so that she could sing those lyrics, knowing she would be living her life fully.
Well am I? I’m 17 now. Have I fulfilled her dreams? No, I haven’t. I have wasted away my seventeenth year wasting away and I haven’t filled it with laughter, joy or dancing.
But it’s time to change that.
2. I want to have fun!
Mamma Mia 2 made me remember how much joy music can bring me and how much joy I am capable of feeling in this world. I had forgotten that. But I want to find that joy again.
Having anorexia is no fun. But I want a life full of fun! So something needs to change…
3. It showed me the importance of being healthy
As I watched Lily James dancing around; free, independent and strong, I felt jealousy. There she was, following her heart, traveling, living. But for the past year, my body has barely been able to sustain life – let alone enjoy it.
I looked at her and remembered how important it is to be healthy, and how that is what makes you beautiful and radiant. Without a healthy mind you can never have a healthy body.
And how without that healthy body you can never achieve your dreams.
Inspired
Mamma Mia 2 was a great film. But it wasn’t just a film. It was a snapshot of what my life could be if I can push onwards in my recovery. It showed me all that is possible when you overcome an illness like this one.
My life can be full of dancing and love and warmth and lasting relationships. I can spread my wings and fly high, high like a bird in the sky