Dear eating disorder,
Thank you for strengthening my relationship with my parents. Eating disorders are complicated and confusing and foreign to most people. So I can’t imagine what it was like for my parents to learn that I was struggling with an ED.
Having both my parents by my side throughout my whole recovery process has been a gift. And I am so grateful for all they have sacrificed for me.
Thank you for teaching me how to express my wants and needs.
You thrived in isolation, suppressed emotions and indecisiveness. Learning how to challenge these habits was what truly pushed me out of your eating disorder grip and into recovery. Now, I see the value in my own feelings and opinions and feel more confident in expressing myself.
Thank you for allowing me to discover food all over again.
Having to work on reintroducing fear foods and “forbidden foods” was like discovering these foods for the first time. I learned how to eat not only for survival, but for enjoyment.
Thank you for showing me how strong I truly am.
Recovery has been the most demanding, emotional and terrifying job I have ever had. Overcoming my eating disorder has made me more confident in my inner strength and has inspired me to continue fighting for my health every single day.
Thank you for showing me what I’m passionate about and encouraging me to pursue those passions.
Once I let go of you, I felt like I had let go of my identity. Who was I without an eating disorder? Letting go of this part of me forced me to focus on the other things I was passionate about.
I now see that I am not my eating disorder, but instead I am a young lady with many strengths, hobbies, skills and passions.
Thank you for showing me how strong my support system truly is. I am blessed to have the family and friends I do.
During my darkest months, I convinced myself that I was alone, and nobody would notice if I was gone. But opening up to those around me and asking for support opened my eyes to all the love that surrounds me.
To everyone who supported me, walked with me, listened to me and accepted me, thank you.
Thank you for showing me the beauty in myself. For teaching me how to embrace my body for what it is, and to appreciate all it does for me. Even when I was depriving it, my body was working for me. And that is remarkable and worthy of recognition.
Looking back, what I would classify as the darkest year of my life ended up bringing a whole new light into my life.
So, thank you eating disorder.
Love,
Alison
P.S to all my warriors:
Please remember that every storm will pass. “When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Always keep fighting and remember that recovery is worth it.
