A Thank You Note to my Eating Disorder:
Dear ED,
There have been times that I really thought you were my forever. You were my best friend for almost a third of my life. And let me tell you, getting over our break up was not easy. I know I’ve said I’m over you before. Then somehow you’ve found a way to crawl back into my life.
But there is no room for you anymore.
You Served a Purpose
You were there for me when I felt so alone, when my feelings were too much to handle, and when nothing in my life felt in my control. Thank you for distracting me, for making the pain stop, and for being my friend. You served a function in my life, and were really good at what you did.
I Am Strong
Thank you for showing me how strong I am, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have learned how to fight.
Thank you for making me feel so unworthy; I have discovered that my worth is so much more than my body.
Thank you for forcing me away from my faith, because it allowed me to see how much I am loved and am worth fighting for my freedom. Thank you for all the insurance money you cost my parents in treatment bills, it forced me to allow others to take care of me and showed me my life is priceless.
Toxic Turned to Tranquility
Thank you for forcing me to stay in toxic relationships, because without those, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the healthy ones in my life today. Thank you for years of being fake and inauthentic, I now value vulnerability. Thank you for introducing me to some amazing warriors, their fight continues to inspire me to fight each and every day. Thanks for forcing me to eat only carrots and work out for hours on end late at night, I learned that I really hate carrots and running but love ice cream and swimming.
Thank you for convincing me that I had no purpose in life, I had to ask the hard questions and discover my dreams and passions.
I’m using everything you taught me to do everything you told me I would never be able to. Thank you for convincing me I would never achieve my dreams. Because it makes seeing them come true even sweeter.
All in all, ED, I am grateful you destroyed my life. Because of you, I’ve been rebuilt, and continue to renovate a life that I truly WANT to live.
Thank You, Next.
Mary
