Image: @williesturgesEver so cautiously I steer myself off of the worn out path I have been following for what seems like eternity.
I turn in the other direction to the unpaved road and begin to walk.
No smooth asphalt just jagged rocks beneath my tired feet.
I see no end to this uneven road and yet I stumble along.
Through seemingly bottomless potholes, over cracks and crevices that I didn’t see coming.
So much unspeakable pain that is arising within me. Yet I continue to walk along.
I fall hard
And I have to wait for someone to find me on this lonely journey and give me a hand to help me up.
But they do come. I am not alone.
I also discover that it is not just broken bones that can be healed with time, with attention, and with love.
I may feel alone again but I am determined to make it to this unknown world to me that others so happily call “life worth living”.
Sometimes the wind is stronger than my strides and my feet travel slower.
Other times the wind roars at my back and pushes me along.
When the storm hits
I lay down waiting patiently until it passes- and it does. After all, it can’t rain forever.
The sun rises. Its’ radiant presence illuminating hopefulness that it will shine again for not only tomorrow but many tomorrows to come.
And I run towards this hope with my arms uncharacteristically open.
This road is so different from the one I used to travel.
Of course, there are times where I want to quit- turn around and go back to the familiarity of my own illusionary “life worth living”.
Except deep within myself I know it will forever be just that, an illusion of worthiness.
But in the near distance, I see the faint glimmer of green grass…