Am I worth it? A question many of us ask ourselves on a daily basis.
I remember how years ago, I was stressing out over college applications and where I would be accepted.
All of my friends seemed to be getting into top universities. Meanwhile, I didn’t have a 4.0 GPA because my grades had dropped slightly in early high school. Many of these years were spent in hospitals due to my eating disorder and related issues.
One day, I sat back and asked myself a question: Why is it that my friends’ high school experiences were somehow more valuable to colleges than mine? After all, I had learning experiences of my own through fighting for my life.
I came to the following conclusion— because society measures success and human worth quantitatively. Not qualitatively.
I then realized this concept of quantifying worth could be applied to my recovery.
I used to step on the scale and subconsciously determine if I was good enough as a person each day. Solely based on what the number read.
But the truth is this— That no GPA, test score, salary, weight, amount of carbs consumed, or miles or kilometers run can grasp what a human is truly worth.
Today, when my little nieces say “I love you, Juju!,” I know I am a worthy person. When I volunteer by playing with dogs at the shelter or supporting others on the crisis line, I know I am a worthy person. When I crack up with friends over a hilarious joke and delicious matcha latte, I know I am a worthy person.
It is in these moments of wholesomeness that we find our true value. Moments of goodness and joy and finding out what we are capable of.
So measure your GOODNESS. Not calories or weight. Measure your JOY. Not your GPA, test scores, or salary. Measure your CAPABILITY. Not miles, kilometers, or steps.
If you’re always trying your best, these numerical values will turn out to be the same at the end of the day anyways. Excessive anxiety and stressing out about things only lead to obsession. Which hardly ever results in anything healthy or sustainable.
Society demands we measure success and worth quantitatively. Dare to be a rebel. Dare to measure your worth in the impact that you make on the world and not on a FitBit or bathroom scale.