Why do I have to worry about weight? Q & A Podcast

Why do I have to gain weight? Will it ever stop? How do I deal with multiple relapses? Will I ever get over my body shame issues? These are all common questions that come up in recovery. In this week’s show we answered 7 questions from fellow warriors who are all at varying stages of recovery. Tune in to hear Miriam Roelink’s and my responses and perspectives on issues ranging from partial recovery to perfectionism and much more.

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Question #1

I am having a very difficult time of accepting weight gain as part of recovery. My mind keeps saying why can’t I be a thin healthy person who does not need to work on the weight gain part.

The Fallacy of Partial Recovery

Question #2

How do you know the line between challenging yourself in recovery and being patient/accepting where you are? In line with my perfectionism, I feel like I should be behavior free from an ED that has been active for 14 years. I started a journey into recovery in October.

Question #3

With summer approaching and everyone starting to talk more about their diets and “beach bodies” (ugh) and such, I’ve been wondering: when is it appropriate or acceptable to talk to someone who you think might be taking a “normal” diet too far? As someone in ED recovery, I know I may be hypersensitive to it and might see danger where it doesn’t exist, at least not imminently…but when I see friends talking about fasting days or how much they’re depriving themselves, or exercising past the point of safety, I really want to speak up and warn them about what they might be doing, and point out that no one knows they have an ED until it starts taking you over, and by then, sometimes it’s too late to stop it before it gets really bad.But I don’t want to be overbearing or pushy! I just want to know when might be the right moment to say something and express concern, coming from an informed point of view…

Question #4

How do you deal with feeling like a failure in recovery like having relapsed multiple times even after multiple treatments. I feel guilty towards my husband and like I can’t ever recover because I’ve been in treatment so many times and I keep relapsing?

Question #5

When transitioning OUT of the contained environment of inpatient/ residential treatment, do you have any tips for helping ensure recovery is lasting? There are so many stories of relapse that I would love to glean any wisdom as to how to stay strong in a “recovered” lifestyle, despite all the inevitable triggers that arise in the world around us.

Question #6

Is it possible to have a fulfilling sex/intimate life in recovery? Are the body image/shame issues something that linger later on in recovery?

Question #7

Since my eating disorder in the past involved a lot of binging, i am naturally becoming more toned and thinner as i continue on with recovery. those are subtle changes; most people don’t notice, but i do. here’s the thing: i feel better and fitter, especially since i do yoga now, too – and i really don’t restrict or over exercise, etc. in fact, i am moving and eating mindfully and i am the healthiest i’ve ever been. however, those changes in my body still trigger me. sometimes very extremely. i find it hard to avoid body checking and i find myself being scared, terrified, even, of “losing grip” and gaining this weight back – which, sometimes, really does lead to a slip (binge).